Railing Stepdad

Bigger Balls

Please read I Railed my Buddy and my Stepdad here first. Or start from the beginning here.

I walked.

I did not know where I was going at first. Just away. Away from Alan’s place, away from Lenny, away from the whole disgusting, confusing mess of what had just happened.

The streetlights had started to come on, throwing pale yellow pools across the sidewalk. Cars passed every so often, but not enough to break the quiet. My shoes hit the pavement hard, like I could stamp the whole thing out of my body if I just kept moving.

I felt sick.

I had not wanted that with Lenny.

That hit first.

I slowed a little, breathing hard through my nose, hands shoved into my pockets. The image of Alan on his knees in front of him came back and I clenched my jaw. Lenny laughing, shrugging, acting like none of it mattered. Like I did not matter.

I hadn’t wanted Lenny involved.

And worse, I hadn’t wanted to share Alan.

That thought landed like a punch to the chest. I stopped walking for a second and stared across the road at a darkened front yard with a rusted mailbox leaning sideways.

Jesus Christ.

That was the part that made me feel the most pathetic. Not disgust, or even moral outrage. Jealousy. Ugly, hot jealousy that had been clawing at me ever since I saw them together.

Underneath all of that was the part that mattered most.

Alan had promised me.

He had looked me in the eye and promised me he would not do certain things. Then the moment he had a chance, when there was a willing body and an audience and some filthy thrill in it for him, he had broken that promise without even blinking.

That was what kept replaying in my head as I started walking again.

It was never just sex with Alan. It was always control. Always him nudging, steering, smiling, making everything seem harmless until suddenly you were standing in the middle of something you never would have agreed to if he had said it plainly.

By the time I’d walked several blocks, my pace had eased. My breathing slowed. The sick feeling was still there, but underneath it something firmer had started to form.

A decision.

When I went back to Lenny’s, that would be it.

Inside Lenny’s would be the subscribe button, filming everything as usual. There’s one way to get around him.